Padres Editorial: Beard Power Rankings

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Feb 22, 2015; Peoria, AZ, USA; San Diego Padres starting pitcher Andrew Cashner (34) sits in the bullpen during camp at Peoria Sports Complex. Mandatory Credit: Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

 Andrew Cashner

I get the feeling that Andrew Cashner has had a beard since he was fourteen.  He wears the beard with such confidence that when you see him, only one word comes to mind: Experience.

Andrew Cashner and Andrew Cashner’s beard know who they are.  They are not here to make friends with the opposition.  Just here to casually toss 100 MPH gas off the mound.

The sheer beauty of the transition into the mullet cannot be overstated.  Anybody can grow a beard, but Cashner completely commits to the look by seamlessly blending his whiskers into a “business in the front, party in the back” mullet.

This creates a maze of confusion for opposing hitters, which we have seen countless times when Cashner deals to hitters.  With a hat on, Cashner comes off rigid and intimidating, and the hitters are scared.

The second he takes off that cap to expose those locks he shows the party side.  The hitter begins to think, “Man, I need to buy that guy a beer”.  While the hitter its trying to sort through all of these emotions, another fastball blows by, and he takes a seat on the bench.

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