Padres Beard Power Rankings

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Oct 12, 2013; Boston, MA, USA; Boston Red Sox starting pitcher John Lackey (41) tweaks the beard of catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia (39) during player intros before game one of the American League Championship Series baseball game against the Detroti Tigers at Fenway Park. Mandatory Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

The 2015 season is sure to bring plenty of outstanding individual performances from the San Diego Padres on the field.

Equally as important is the play on the their faces.

The Padres are one of the more decorated teams in the MLB as far as facial hair goes. To celebrate these impressive “Lumber-sexuals” of ours, I have compiled a list of the best beards on the 2015 San Diego Padres.

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May 21, 2014; San Diego, CA, USA; San Diego Padres relief pitcher Kevin Quackenbush (59) after the final out of the ninth inning against the Minnesota Twins at Petco Park. Mandatory Credit: Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Kevin Quackenbush

Quak-attack burst onto the scene in 2014 with his ability to close out games; but more notably, rocking a superb beard while doing it.

What I like about Quak’s beard game is its versatility.

The man can tone it back and go with the clean-cut groomed-goatee look, then go on to be an inspiration to us all with the all out Santa Claus.

Quakenbush began donning some substantial bulk on the chin later in the year, which certainly helped translate into some saves.

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Mar 10, 2015; Peoria, AZ, USA; San Diego Padres starting pitcher Ian Kennedy (22) pitches against the San Francisco Giants at Peoria Sports Complex. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Ian Kennedy

It wasn’t until recently that Ian Kennedy really stepped up his beard game.

You don’t really see a lot of red beards out there, which is precisely why Kennedy has climbed toward the top of the list.

Kennedy keeps this bad-boy well groomed, making this set of whiskers the “Red Baron” of San Diego.

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Mar 14, 2015; Peoria, AZ, USA; San Diego Padres catcher Derek Norris (3) looks on against the Texas Rangers at Peoria Sports Complex. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Derek Norris

Norris is new to the Padres and scaled his crazy look back after the trade from the A’s was announced. Still, his beard holds so much potential.

With the A’s we saw Norris pumping up his team and the fan-base with with the full Tarzan look. While I respect Norris’ decision to start with a clean slate with his new club, the resurgence of his beard is absolutely essential for a playoff push in 2015.

I look forward to Norris growing out his beard this season, alongside his rapport with the Padres pitching staff.

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Feb 22, 2015; Peoria, AZ, USA; San Diego Padres starting pitcher Andrew Cashner (34) sits in the bullpen during camp at Peoria Sports Complex. Mandatory Credit: Rick Scuteri-USA TODAY Sports

Andrew Cashner

I get the feeling that Andrew Cashner has had a beard since he was fourteen. He wears the beard with such confidence that when you see him, only one word comes to mind: Experience.

Andrew Cashner and Andrew Cashner’s beard know who they are. They are not here to make friends with the opposition. Just here to casually toss 100 MPH gas off the mound.

The sheer beauty of the transition into the mullet cannot be overstated. Anybody can grow a beard, but Cashner completely commits to the look by seamlessly blending his whiskers into a “business in the front, party in the back” mullet.

This creates a maze of confusion for opposing hitters, which we have seen countless times when Cashner deals to hitters. With a hat on, Cashner comes off rigid and intimidating, and the hitters are scared.

The second he takes off that cap to expose those locks he shows the party side. The hitter begins to think, “Man, I need to buy that guy a beer”. While the hitter its trying to sort through all of these emotions, another fastball blows by, and he takes a seat on the bench.

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Aug 1, 2014; San Diego, CA, USA; San Diego Padres relief pitcher Dale Thayer (33) pitches during the ninth inning against the Atlanta Braves at Petco Park. Mandatory Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Dale Thayer

You can’t get much better than this folks.

On multiple accounts I’ve heard a stranger whisper, “Mother of God”, after lying eyes on Dale Thayer’s glorious whiskers.

Since his call up, Thayer has transcended what we all know to be a “beard”, and branded a completely unique style.

The heavy mustache into a modified mutton-chops look turns heads every time Thayer takes the mound.

Do you agree with the Beard Ranking? Who was left on the list or doesn’t belong?

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