Wal-Mart’s Obsession With Jason Bartlett


I frequently shop at Wal-Mart for household goods. You know, toilet paper, toothpaste, the occasional frozen pizza. I am aware that Wal-Mart is considered an “evil” company. We are not here to debate your feelings on the nation’s largest retailer. No, we are to question their obsession with Padres SS Jason Bartlett.

At this point, can we still call Bartlett a Padre? He is currently on the 60-day disabled list with a knee injury. I am not sure if it is a Nancy Kerrigan situation, but it seemed rather odd that Bartlett came down with a phantom injury the same day that Orlando Hudson was released? It seems like Jason Bartlett is a Padre in the same way I am — in spirit and dreams.

However, if you walked into your San Diego area Wal-Mart, you would think Bartlett was a modern-day Babe Ruth. Jersey’s, shirsey’s as far as the eye can see, all with Bartlett’s name plastered on the cheap knockoff’s. Here at Wal-Mart, you will not find a Carlos Quentin nor a Chase Headley shirt. It is all Bartlett as far as the eye can see. Heck, some stores even have a few Anthony Rizzo shirsey’s lying around, which is fodder for a different post entirely.

This strange phenomena made me think: who is the buyer for Wal-Mart? Does this person live in 2009, when Bartlett was an All-Star for Tampa Bay? Does this person live in a bizarro world where Bartlett is a star shortstop, Petco Park is an extreme hitter’s park, and where Lindsay Lohan is still hot? Or could it be that they would have to pay more to print the name of a useful Padre on the back of a shirt? This whole Bartlett situation is baffling to me.

I attempted to ask one of the workers at Wal-Mart if the Bartlett family holds a large amount of stock in Wally World. I was met with a blank stare, and toothless smirk. Jason Bartlett is a god to those who dwell within the Wal-Mart walls. Who am I to question this?

If you are a Bartlett fan (i.e. if Bartlett is a blood relative) make sure you get to Wal-Mart to pick up your $7 Bartlett jersey before they are gone. The Chargers season is underway, and they will need that space for Larry English and Luis Castillo jerseys.