My Wife’s Biggest Disappointment

As the Padres announced Mat Latos’ trade last weekend and Yonder Alonso boarded a plane for San Diego as part of the deal (I’m pretty sure he did not in fact board a plane, but this helps make the picture a little clearer for everyone so go with it), Anthony Rizzo’s future instantly became unclear.  The decision to slot Alonso ahead of Rizzo makes Rizzo’s future even more uncertain.  And the hearts of women all across San Diego and beyond are breaking.  My wife never misses an opportunity to point out her love of all things Rizzo.  She has Rizzo-mania, and she has it bad.

She does not approve of Mat Latos’ trade, but not because she cares one tiny bit about Latos or the players the Padres got in return.  She does not approve because of the potential Rizzo consequences.  Every swing and miss was a wonderful display of manliness in her opinion.  His disgustingly low batting average last season was masked by his tall, athletic physique.  The point is, she loves Rizzo and can’t stand the idea of him leaving.

And to all this, I say thank you Josh Byrnes.  Thank you for trading away Mat Latos.  Thank you for bringing in a first baseman to block Rizzo, because I’m tired of Rizzo blocking me.