Andrew Cashner Becomes The Hunted

With the events that transpired today, it is apparent that Padres pitcher Andrew Cashner is aware of the time-honored tradition of pitchers injuring themselves in the dumbest ways possible.

Corey Brock reported that Cashner will miss about three months, after severing a tendon in his right thumb. The injury occurred while Cashner and a friend were “dressing meat.” Apparently, “dressing meat” means cutting up a carcass. I pictured the two men putting a flannel jacket and one of the wool hats with the ear flaps on the side. I am no outdoorsman.

Jul. 3, 2012; Phoenix, AZ, USA: San Diego Padres pitcher Andrew Cashner (right) leaves the field with a trainer after suffering an injury in the third inning against the Arizona Diamondbacks at Chase Field. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

If you remember, the Padres have had a slew of dumb injuries over the years involving pitchers. Carlton Loewer fell out of a deer blind(I have no idea what that is) back in early 2000 and broke his leg and dislocated an ankle. Adam Eaton stabbed himself in the abdomen while opening a DVD in 2001. In case you were wondering, the DVD’s were Backdraft and Happy Gilmore. Then there was Jay Witasick who strained his pitching elbow taking out the trash.

It seems like the Padres should put a “no hunting” clause in the contracts they give out. Cashner is an important member of the pitching staff and he will not be ready for Opening Day. The Padres are still looking for pitching depth and Cashner’s dumb injury adds to the work of Josh Byrnes.

Here’s a lesson to you folks: avoid cutting dead animals with your friends, it only leads to tragedy.